The Avengers: Age of Ultron

Age-of-Ultron-Movie-subtitle-1

Please click through to read me being a disappointed asshole on my film site x 

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Filed under Films, TV and Film

Home

I claw, urgently, out of a hole
I have dug myself into – or
is that fair, when I was thrown
cast, violently, into a hell

Three hours seemed enough
distance, time, space
and yet here I am, trying
to get back there if only
for a day or two, to see her face

I cannot help where I am from
dirty, overgrown gardens
neglected and left to turn blue
but I can help where I am going
and pray that she can leave, too

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Revelations II

In bars and streets, a screamed confession
in my head, at least – that I don’t want to be here
that I long for sun on my skin, for books
in my hands. For words to come
but they cannot, as long as I am here

In wine glasses and late night lock-ins
I realise, often, where I want to be
and it is not in the world of the night-time
worker, but in the land of the living
of the 8am library slog, of a run by the sea

Save me from evenings
and from late night lock-ins

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Hindsight can make me turn circles
twisting the places I had to run to
into romantic little hiding places
the rivers and gardens we froze in
into paradise, into warm bonfires
the people I crawled inside
and lied to, and drowned with
into friends, family I left behind

And I know I left, I know you stay
but I had never been safe
until my hiding place
was a choice that I made

I am sorry I up and left – I am
I am not sorry that I am not dead
drowned and curled up
inside pills and rivers

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Broad City VS. Girls

broadcity_101_10-520x292 girls

Please read my piece on Broad City and Girls on my other site. Thanks xo 

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Filed under Misc

I’m a naked body of nervous energy
hyper-aware and over-exposed
I know every time I open my mouth
I am showing more of myself
than I have ever – than I would ever
now that I am sober
ish – close enough – mostly

I am trapped, endlessly, in my
seaside city
tied to a university, to people
that don’t yet know me

I want a year – two –
I want West Coast
sun in my veins
space enough to write
if only, give me a week – two
to wrap myself back up
in words and bedsheets

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Quitting

When I quit drugs – okay –
just pills, okay, just painkillers
that I took daily to remedy
something
I was ready for it to hurt
for my stomach to burn
and my head to burst
and I didn’t account for
how boring
it could be

With nothing to – punctuate
to separate mornings
from afternoons, from nights
and I wake early, I can’t sleep
until three
like I used to
and I yawn with every tired
class, every shift
that I can finally feel
that I am not numb to

I have self-medicated daily
in some ways for a decade
I have taken this, drank something
abused someone else’s
prescription
and I am faced with
what I’ve left

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Filed under Poetry