Lightness

Stepping lightly never meant at all that I gave up on anything
it just meant that I stopped to worry, for a second, and drank it in
it never meant that I forgot my world of rituals and of repetition
a time of crawling skin and “did I miss something?”

The lighter steps I took depended often on alcohol, on the lack
of blood in my system. The less consumed, the lighter I went
and the less I thought about what would happen, thanks to
self-medication. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt a lightness

I never knew a way of expression that let me escape the ticking
and the times I hadn’t done a thing. But I knew that drinking
and time spent on the floor – those were the ways I stepped lightly

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