From the comfort of cobbles and my alcohol jacket
a vantage point interrupted by fear, by the gaps in the pier
I stood and I saw the lights and a coast that held
my country in place. I love my life. I said it, and I meant it
in the minute that I realised I could love it every single day

I love my life. I learned to drive a car that fell apart
before it would start, and I loved it. I learned to write 
and my words would get me in trouble and in good books
my sickness gave me cause to up and leave and
see the country, with blood coming from my ears
but I didn’t care in the moments that – I loved my life

I lost a family to abuse, addiction, and petty predictions
and I made one from the stoners and the losers
who found solace and enjoyment in the wood that jutted
out to the dirty river. I love my life. I love the dirty river
and I love nettles, the hacksaw and the empty bottles

I sweated and I was hit, I came out of crowded rooms bruised
with torn up souvenirs to show for it. I tried drugs and I regret it
because they never worked that well. I learned to make drinks
and I did a decent job, when I was drunk on it. I drank more
than I sold, and I laughed more than I ever had. In lock-ins
and messy apartments, basements with foreigners and – I
I love my life. I love the open window that we never needed
to climb out of, I love the palm trees that I longed to see

Over-indulgent, selfish and hopeless – I love my life
I felt something for the international travellers and I 
welcomed them in. I danced till I bruised on hardwood floors
and I felt safest at 2am, drinking our business into the ground
who says I’ve not the right to love my life, a history of abuse
and of sickness is not a reason to come from the woodwork
and say – I love my life. I love my life.

Every dirty river, all of the foreign skin, every time I woke up
somewhere I had never been. Every plane, every word I 
shouldn’t have written. Every lock-in and cobble, every time
I didn’t want to get older – and found more on the other side
of the calendar. I do not want to die. I love my life. I love my life.


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