Hindsight can make me turn circles
twisting the places I had to run to
into romantic little hiding places
the rivers and gardens we froze in
into paradise, into warm bonfires
the people I crawled inside
and lied to, and drowned with
into friends, family I left behind

And I know I left, I know you stay
but I had never been safe
until my hiding place
was a choice that I made

I am sorry I up and left – I am
I am not sorry that I am not dead
drowned and curled up
inside pills and rivers

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