5.

I am so full up of uncertainty
and everybody knows more than me
still mythologising my own failings
obsessively caught in pervasive self-hatred
so caught up in how I should be
what I could have been by 23
nervously disappointing in coffee shops
breaking down in bar toilets – I will
never be able to work alone, to waste
away – to lie down and die on a beach
nobody burns out and dies at 22
but it is still my fault, day after day
that social cues evade me, success
is not yet mine – but I have to be alive
to see the sun rise another morning
over the Royal Pavilion, to the West
of my beautiful sea, and if nothing
else, that will be enough for me

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s