8.

I never knew safety, never could let cries escape me / I hid and I tapped 3, 5, 15 times – nothing will happen / if the world is controlled, unpacked / re-organised in a way my young mind could interpret / I got older and still, I had an anger / I did not yet understand that where children had parents, umbrellas to protect them / houses built of bricks and meals / I had myself, I had my repetitions, my own safety. / I understood that perhaps their parents were not drunk / that their mother did not bleed and leave the children to feed themselves / but not the gravity, I suppose / I had a place I would go, after the world was clean / I poured and I studied, the words that fell from me / I could re-write, re-interpret, understand in the pages / and what I could not translate, what I could never understand / was transcribed for me by others / in my sing-song Fridays / in CD cases, in books and films / someone had already explained it for me / my little world understood, my ceiling-less home organised / still now, I haven’t those parents / a safe space to express / where others can talk, and have others listen / I am safer in repetitions, holed up in these pages

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