10.

Of monsters and beaches, of friends and family
I moved here not to escape the city, but the rush
of the village, the ways in which you all knew me
and yet not enough to know my next big trick
might take me away, might let me disappear
and yet I have never been safer, never more loved
than when I lost a family, when I left small
for big, for anonymous – you do not yet know me
to know who I was at nine, at fourteen – whatever
fucked up thing I said ten years ago – it is not I
but where I died in classrooms, was buried
in riverbeds, where I drove through country lanes
to try and live again, restore some freedom
I was made in these evenings, in this town
at 5am running wild, but the sea never sleeps
I have swam and shouted, I have conquered
a few people here know me, of course
but I am anonymous, free to be delivered
back to the ocean, to pier summers and fires
I have cried at 3 in a friends arms in the streets
and she forgave me, she let me be born
and forget the years in a city that killed me

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