21.

In the last perhaps lingering days of summer 
I have to be cautious before I fall into
self-segregation and missed connections 
some winters my friends have thought I were dead
and I might well have agreed with them, too
I have to be cautious, soak up morning’s light
not be awake to ruminate at 6am 
considering cocaine with a new friend or ten
when I am not cautious I have a darkness
a distance between myself and the living
I cannot trust anyone to stop me from spinning
or booking a plane ticket at 1am 

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